OG Testimonial of the Week Archive
November 20, 2008
Hey Paul,
I've kept up with your ezines since I signed up and have learned a lot. I always wait on the edge of my seat anticipation for your next e-zine.
Finally though, I found something to write in about.
When my brother joined the Army, I decided it would be a good time to get his 10yr old son, my nephew, into BJJ.
Financial times are difficult and the company I worked for was bought out by a competitor who pays me less that I used to make, but I refused to make that an excuse for failure.
I promised my nephew to get him in and I aimed to keep my word.
After I cleared it with his parents, I got the money together and signed him up at the gym where I used to train.
My nephew has been in for just 1 month and I'm surprised at how well it's going for him. He's learning the moves, is having fun, and (best of all) I feel it has helped him cope with his father being away in boot camp.
I hope to soon join my nephew at my old gym and roll with him a little before the family joins my brother at his permanent duty station. Even though I'm not on the mat, I watch from the sidelines and mentally go thru the moves. I watch the kids go thru the training drills and look for details that I know I'm missing in my own game.
I'm not letting my time away from the mat deter me from receiving valuable training. If anything, this time off the mat is motivation to get back in the gym.
My point: Roadblocks are just life's way of testing how strong our resolve to succeed is. Every roadblock we get past makes us stronger.
Sincerely,
Ray
Ray
Bro, I must give you TONS of credit for pulling yourself out of training so that your nephew could train to get his mind off his dad while he's away at boot camp. I don't know a lot of people that would've done that, but it shows the love and commitment you have for your family and says a lot about you as a person.
And even though you're NOT on the mat because of the economy (as I expect MANY MORE will disappear from training within the next 12 months), you can still stay sharp by working what you already know and your OG Shadow Grappling Drills until you get back on the mat.
You'll be AMAZED at how well they'll keep you sharp while you're on the sidelines and they'll get you ready for your future "challenge match" with your nephew! ;-)
September 13, 2008
Paul,
I wanted to send you this story of my nephew to share with the OG Nation. My nephew has being doing Jiu-Jitsu for 2 years now, he is 12 years old.
A year ago, he was having a tough time in his BJJ class, and wanted to quit. He was giving his grandmother a hard time about taking him to class, and when I called my sister, she was planning on taking him out of BJJ.
Around that time was when I first started getting e-mails from you for about 2 or 3 months. I thought about the mental roadblocks you talk about. I felt it was important for my nephew to stay in BJJ; not for training sake (even though I think it's awesome), but more to get passed the mental roadblock he was going through.
So, I talked with my sister about it and told her that it was a bad idea to take him out, that it was a mental roadblock he was going through, he shouldn't think it's okay to quit once something is hard, and that what he learns from the experience (and others) will be more valuable in his life then just the BJJ training alone. She agreed with me and kept him in class.
About a month later I went home and worked out with my nephew and he loved working out with me. He does enjoy BJJ, but didn't want to go to class anymore.
Another month later, his attitude changed and he kept sticking with his BJJ class.
About 6 months ago, he received his first belt in BJJ and is really proud. Every time I talk with him now, he says he loves BJJ and looks forward to working out with me when I am able to visit.
I wanted to share this lesson with the OG Nation; it's not only us that deal with mental road blocks. People of all ages deal with it, even kids.
We can get pass those roadblocks, instead of giving up on ourselves and taking the easy way out once things get hard. If we stick with something, we will reap the rewards; not only the physical training, but the mental training that comes with it.
Thank you so much, Paul, for the wisdom you share with us.
-Jeff
Jeff,
First, I need to send your nephew an OG Patch for his gi because he fought through that mental block just like an OG's supposed to deal with it! Send me a mailing address and I'll get one in the mail for him.
Next, it's really cool that after hearing me write and talk (during my free customer coaching call) about the right and wrong training mental mindset for a few months that you were able to recognize the roadblock behavior being displayed by your nephew. You did the right thing by telling your sister to confront it instead of giving into the urge to quit. Too often, adults let children quit on activities because they get harder as they progress. I'm not saying that kids don't lose interest in certain activities because they do. My experience with teaching a kid's class for years and now having a kid in a grappling class has shown me that their way of dealing with frustration is by avoiding it. And children that learn the habit of dealing with frustration and difficulty by quitting tend to become adults that quit when frustration settles in on them as well. And if you stick around BJJ long enough to get your black belt (which you will), you'll see a lot of people that quit for the simple fact that it got tough.
I had the same behavior going on with my daughter in her class and she was telling her mom and grandma that she wanted out as well. I realized that she was getting frustrated with a certain technique and thought that running away from the issue would solve the problem. So, I took the risk of being called a "bad daddy" by making her stay in the class and telling her instructor that she'll need some extra help when she gets stuck (because she wouldn't ask for help).
That was almost 2 years ago, haven't heard "Daddy, I want to quit!" or crying outbursts in over a year, and I practically have to drag her out of the academy every day that she's on the mat!
Thanks again for the story and make sure that both you and that future black belt keep up the good work!
August 22,2008
Paul,
Thanks for the tips, every bit helps in protecting our guard. As each day goes by I realize my guard always needs better protection. It's never good enough.
The day before yesterday, I had a training match with a much younger opponent (11 years) and found myself almost falling victim to both the nerve and pressure point applications. I know this opponent enough to realize I should expect something like this from them. I was watching for it.
At the beginning of the match, he put himself in a vulnerable position. Of course as a good BJJer, I applied the correct techniques to gain control of the match. He became very upset and it was like someone going for the throat in retribution. The cheap tricks immediately came out and were initially effective.
After I recognized his new moves and gained some self-control, I shut him right down. Wow, it sure hurt, but you may surprise yourself at your ability to apply self-control to gain control and avoid anything more serious coming about of it.
I won the match and expressed my lack of respect for that behavior. I didn't wait until after the match. I did it during the match and I didn't do it with words either.
Sometimes, it's not what you say but rather what you don't. I didn't say a word, instead maneuvered and controlled the match in spite of his employment of those methods. I know he was hurting after the match, but only because I beat him good. Not using his techniques, but using the higher road techniques.
I wanted him to know he can't get away with that anymore and he knows it!
FYI - this opponent used to kick my butt all over the mat 2 years ago... all the time! Back then, it was like I never stood a chance and I was helpless. I have mixed feelings that it was good for my confidence....it was good to win, but man did it hurt, just not like it used to hurt.
It's funny because the pain he caused me was nothing like before, but it was almost enlightening. Not in the sense as to how far I have come from 2 years ago, but rather how far I still have to go.
This brings up a question. Should we always think the worst in people? Should we always expect the worst of people? Certainly, we should be prepared to overcome the worst, but perhaps if we just looked at everyone as though they're total aim is to win at any cost to us, perhaps we can avoid our own pain. It goes against my grain when I think I have to think the worst of people, but then again this is not a game based on kindness, is it.
Dan M
Dan,
Reading this testimonial was very satisfying because you've been in the OG Nation since the beginning, bro! I remember your emails from back in the day talking about how you were literally tormented by some mat punks at your academy every training session. Fast forward two years later and you're a different OG on the mat. You're mentally tougher, more confident in your grappling abilities, and willing to meet the every day challenges that OGs (regardless of age) face from mat punks (both young punks and old punks) head-on.
As for your questions about always thinking the worst of people, I had to change my initial response from yes to no. Initially, I said yes, but as I thought about it, I think having that kind of mat paranoia isn't good to have while you're waiting for each and every partner to do something cruddy on the mat. Being prepared to expect the worst of every partner might take away the pleasant experiences that you get from training because you're constantly on the lookout to crack someone's head before they crack yours. And training that way can't be fun.
What we do need as OGs (regardless of age) is the ability to shift mindsets for each opponent as the training dictates (just like I talk about in my "9 OG Mat Attitudes/10 Common Grappling Mistakes" CD/DVD Package that goes on sale in September 2008). That way, you won't overreact and start dismantling some unsuspecting training partner that unintentionally knees you in the crotch, as opposed to some punk giving you several "planned accidental" knees below the belt!
Overall, you've done a fantastic job and have made tremendous improvements with your mat attitude over the past two years. Keep up the good work and you'll be on track to reach all those training goals that we discussed last year!
August 7,2008
Paul,
After reading your e-mail newsletters for almost a year, getting one of the OG Training DVD's, and talking to you on the phone about the mental game once during a call-in time, I have been convinced that the mental side of the game for OGs is a very real and vital aspect of training.
I live in Colorado and enjoy training at a good school there. I was on a business trip to Phoenix, Arizona and saw that my previous BJJ School was hosting the state BJJ grappling championships. I decided to sign up and compete in my first tournament.
One of the reasons, besides being 44 years old and consistently going up against the young punks, I had for not competing before this was I am working through an injury. I just found out 2 weeks ago through an MRI that I have no ACL in my left knee - the injury is about a year old. I had toughed it out on the mat protecting that knee for months, and just before tournaments I would bump it and it would hurt again.
Finally, after finding out what was wrong, I adapted my game to not do any strong cutting takedowns towards that side and protected it more. My doctor said everything was healed up and that John Elway (NFL Hall of Fame QB) played most of his football career without an ACL but I probably will need to get surgery at some point.
So, the last week before my trip I was feeling pretty good and decided to compete. I told my instructors and everyone in my school up front so I would not be able to chicken out.
The tournament was on Saturday. Thursday night, I stopped by my old school and trained. During training, I got caught in a kimura by a purple belt and it tweaked my elbow somewhat. I couldn't really make a tight fist after that without it hurting, but it wasn't really bad.
Saturday morning, I was a complete mess. I said to myself, "What are you doing? You're 44 years old, you have a knee injury that will require surgery, you have a tweaked elbow, you're on the low end of the unlimited weight class, and you are going to do a statewide grappling tournament in a city with 6 million people? You are going to die, or seriously hurt yourself. You are really stupid."
The #1 hardest part about the tournament was parking my car and walking through the doors of the center. I was making up all kinds of reasons in my mind to just slip away incognito and make up some excuse not to do it.
When I walked in, it was truly intimidating. There were loudspeakers, stadium seating, multiple mats cordoned off, a staging and weigh-in area. There were black belt instructors and competitors I recognized from all over the region. There were semi-famous MMA fighters. There were Brazilians saying "boa" in matches. There were black belt coaches shouting instructions to students. There were MMA gear vendors and really tough looking people all over. In one of the first matches I watched, someone got choked unconscious by a triangle choke and they had to revive him.
I checked in and changed into my gi, and stretched out a little bit. I had no coach there and nobody else from my team. It was just me. I asked some other guy standing by to do pummeling drills to warm up because everything was taking forever and running behind.
The #2 hardest part about the tournament was walking onto the mat thru the staging area. My mind was frozen blank, I couldn't think of anything. I had really short breath. My match started and I kicked into what I had worked on with my teachers for a game plan from the feet to protect my knee, circling the other way. We circled, switched grips a few times, and he came in hard. I reacted with angle and leverage and got the takedown into side control! I saw an opening, and finished the submission within 1:30 of the match starting!!
My second match, I was a little less nervous, but my opponent was taller and bigger, and was from one of the top teams in the state. His coach was our referee! He had 3 or 4 people yelling instructions to him from the side. I had not another soul in there even cheering me on. He had a lot better judo and takedowns too. I stuck with my game plan, defended some throws, and got the takedown into half guard! I saw another opening, went for the submission, and got my grip locked. His team was yelling "get to your side, get to your side". Then as I adjusted my balance, locked in the technique and got in perfect position, I heard "ohhhhh" from their team. I cranked the submission gradually, and he tapped! I had won 1st place in my division, a gold medal, and got to stand on the middle #1 platform for the pictures!
I was actually in shock for about 24 hours.
In reflecting back on things, one of the things that stand out in my mind the most was that the difference in the mental game between victory and defeat is very small indeed, although it seems large at the time. And in reflecting on the interaction with the OG Community and the things Paul is teaching with the mental game is that it's like really good technical fundamentals; if you just put a little bit of it into the brain cells, bit-by-bit, thought-by-thought, attitude adjustment-by-attitude adjustment, and do it faithfully, then it is there somewhere when you need it and everything else around you is really, really wacky!
Thanks Paul, for all you do to help us OG's build in the right stuff.
Dave Milner
Dave,
OG, I don't know exactly where to start because there were SO MANY good things that came out of this experience for you! First, I should congratulate you on deciding to compete, for the great performance that you gave at the tourney, and for getting to the top of the podium by getting the gold medal. The view from the top of the podium is NICE, isn't it? ;-)
Next, you had a LOT of opportunities to quit on yourself, but didn't and I definitely need to give you your props for that, especially when I've known people to give up on themselves while enduring less than what you did. You had enough self-confidence in yourself and your technique to make the decision to get into a tournament when you were in town on a business trip. You made the verbal commitment in class in front of your instructor and teammates so that you couldn't back out of it so easily. You created a gameplan to work around your physical limitation. You didn't let the fact that you got your arm tweaked the week before the tournament make you want to quit and not compete. You didn't listen to self-doubt and negative voices inside your head that tried to scare you and make you lose focus when you arrived at the venue. You didn't let the tough-looking guys with the fancy Gis and team t-shirts get inside your head and make you feel inferior to them. You didn't let the fact that you had NO coach, NO teammates, NO family support, AND a final's match where your opponent's coach was the referee keep you from focusing on your gameplan. You ignored the crowd noises during the matches, stuck to your gameplan, and your performance was rewarded with a successful outcome by winning the gold. And on top of all that, you felt like a millions buck for the next 72 hours after the tourney!
Knowing what you know now, how miserable would you have felt if you'd decided to listen to that self-doubt when you got to the venue to "just slip away incognito and make up some excuse not to do it" like you mentioned in the testy above? I'll tell you how you would've felt... like a quitter! But you didn't quit and that's what it means to be an OG; not quitting and always doing your best, regardless of the match outcome! Keep up the good work, champ!
July 24,2008
Hey Paul,
Sorry about the late reply. I put off a lot of work last month, but I'm caught up now.
I learned there is a difference between just training hard and training hard and smart. From now on, I am going to "rest" when I am starting to feel run down. I was training six days a week, sometimes 2 times a day, because that's what the younger guys were doing.
I also learned I need to plan my training more carefully and spend more time drilling, instead of just going into the academy and rolling for two hours.
In all, competing in the Mundials was a great learning experience. The competition was tough, young, and athletic. Now I know why I didn't see too many guys my age competing :-).
Thanks again for the great advice and products. Hope to talk again soon, not sure if this will make a good testimonial. :-)
Best regards,
Scot Clontz
Scot,
First, I want to say that the testimonial was good since it was insight into your competition experience. I'm not looking for Stephen King-caliber written testimonials from OGs, which is what I hear from OGs all the time while they're explaining to me how life on the mat is different for them in a good way, but won't write it because they think their story won't be as good as a previous OGTOW that they've read. Forget fancy writing, if there's a mat lesson to be learned from the testy that can be shared by all and it's only 3 sentences long, I want it!
Next, I thought working the "rest" phase into your training was one of the two gold nuggets in the testy. It's so easy to slip into the 6 days a week, 2x a day training rut and just break your body down because you don't give it time to recover. I know that's the norm in a lot of places, but those places where they're able to do it successfully have a pre-planned training recovery regimen to help their athletes get ready for the next grueling workout and successful tournament performances. And that involves more than taking a shower after a workout and going to bed!
As for creating a plan that allows you to drill more instead of sparring for two hours, I couldn't agree more. I know that sparring is fun, but not for two hours! There are SO MANY other things that you can work on (e.g. takedowns, mat strategy, conditioning drills, flow drills, etc.) that'll prepare you for the competition than just sparring for two hours. That's a powerful nugget and I'm glad you mentioned it.
Again, great insight and keep up the good work as you get ready for "the next time!"
July 11, 2008
MP,
OK, so maybe I was a little late getting you that testimonial. But I just wanted to drop you a line to know how much I appreciated your coming up to Philadelphia to roll this weekend.
As you well know, I was very much the young punk when I started out, but job, kids (two with one more on the way), age (36), and injuries soon put an end to that, and I've been living the OG life for some time now.
Last weekend, I finally achieved a goal I've had for most of my adult life, and was awarded my black belt. Reading your emails has been an enormous help to me in this journey. Obviously reading the insights of guy who's made it to black belt, and continues to grapple at your level is motivating, to say the least. But also seeing all of the things I have, and continue to, go through on the mat reflected in the emails sent by OGs all over is great to see.
It's great that you've been able to draw together this community that may not be the stereotypical view of the grappler, but nonetheless makes up some of the most dedicated, knowledgeable, and talented people in the sport.
Thanks again.
Steve Bowers
BJJ Black Belt
BJJ United, Philadelphia, PA
Steve,
Congrats again on the belt promotion and for the expected arrival of Baby Bowers! If it hadn't been for that darn SUV on fire on I-95 in Delaware, I would've made it in time to have actually seen the belt get put around your waist. In any case, I was there to enjoy the rest of the day, it was a good time, and I'm glad that I was there to be a part of it and roll with you. I think it's fantastic every time a grappler makes it to black belt because SO MANY grapplers drop off along the way for various reasons.
Keep doing what got you to black belt and make sure to keep your cardio at a good level whenever you can't make it to the gym. Don't find out the hard way that an out-of-shape OG Black Belt is shark bait on the mat! Think about all the senior belts that you used to go after in your YP days that were coming back to training after a mat layoff for one reason or another and adjust your home training as needed!
Finally, I appreciate that you sent me the testimonial after almost two years, just glad I wasn't waiting on you to bring me some snakebite antidote! ;-)
June 17, 2008
Paul,
I really do appreciate your e-mails and products. I just started BJJ about 2 months ago, and I really love it. I very much appreciate the art, and my practice and a new workout plan have dramatically improved my overall health (strength, flexibility, body weight, cardio, etc.) in a short period of time. I'm lucky in that I have a good coach who runs a very positive and safe gym.
That said, as a 39 year-old (I turn 40 next week) I'm often times 15-20+ years older than many of my classmates. I used to wonder, at least some times, whether BJJ was just a young person's game.
I subscribed to your e-mails, and then bought your seminar and mental mind set DVDs. I really enjoy them, and they have helped me to see that even middle-aged guys can be more than just grappling dummies (you had one white belt in the seminar DVD who appeared to be in his 60s. It just goes to show that age doesn't have to be a barrier). More importantly, with the right mind set, right training approach and hard work, I really do believe that I can actually become a good player. I might not ever compete in the Mundials or become a master of some of the flashier techniques, but I feel I can find my own game.
At any rate, to prove that life is not over at 40, I have entered the NAGA Midwest Tournament in Chicago. It takes place next weekend (May 24-25). Perhaps in the future I might enter tournaments with the idea of winning, but right now, the idea is to challenge myself by venturing out my comfort zone, develop my game, and have some fun.
Your DVDs and e-mails have helped me get into the right mindset. Whether I will be the hammer or the nail (more likely for now), I'm looking forward to the competition and my training thereafter.
Thanks again, and I look forward to receiving the Shadow Grappling DVD Set.
Marcelo Corpuz
Marcelo,
First, let me say happy belated b-day to you since I didn't do that since we were emailing each other right after the tournament and welcome to "Club 40!"
Next, if there was a simple grappling success formula to give to every grappler to follow (regardless of age), you're doing it in all the steps that I mentioned about you in the intro. And the fact that you're doing it with 3 months of grappling under your belt is AMAZING! I see it as amazing because as an instructor and coach (as I'm sure all the instructors and coaches will know my pain), I spend SO MUCH time trying to "convince" people that success really isn't that complicated! What complicates success is getting people to get off their butts, make a commitment, and take action! If you could get the human element out of it and program people for success ("become an android" as Lloyd Irvin like to put it), it would be much easier to see that creating and following a success road map isn't that complicated. But when someone that hasn't followed a success path has an idea of "what it should take" to get there AND starts challenging the ones that have been there, that is where the wheels start falling off the wagon!
Keep doing what you're doing because it will bring you the success you desire. And don't worry about being the nail right now or even how long you're going to be the nail. Stay committed to doing what you're doing now and one day, without warning, you'll notice that you're the proud owner of a shiny new hammer and you know how to use it!
I'm looking forward to sharing what you learned at the tourney in the next OGTOW because it'll be a good motivating experience for everyone as it was for me when I first read it.
May 27, 2008
OG STILL on Mat Talking Trash to Young Guns Teammates at 73 Years Young!
This week's OGTOW is from one of our OG Brothers that started training at age 62 and is still having fun training and talking trash on the mat with the young guns and punks teammates at his BJJ Club...and the BEST part of the story is the fact that the OG is NOW 73 YEARS YOUNG! One word popped up in my mind after reading this email...amazing! Check it out and Enjoy!
Paul,
I was intrigued by the original reference I saw to your newsletter. I certainly am an older grappler! I am 73, and started training with Mario Yamasaki when I was 62. So I did not get started until I was an "old man."
I have since earned belts from Relson Gracie, and am faculty sponsor for the Baylor University Jiu-Jitsu and Submission Wrestling Club in Waco, TX.
I am glad to say that at 73, I can still stay on the mats with the 18-25 year olds who come to our Club. I always tell them they are "young punks" who are about to be tapped out by their "grandaddy."
I will never, go further up the belt chain, but the confidence and physical conditioning that Jiu-Jitsu has provided me are remarkable.
Thanks for your newsletters. I look forward to receiving others.
Jimmy Williamson
Waco, TX
Jimmy,
A few years ago, a young gun asked me how old I was and when I told him I was 41, he said that he hoped to be as good on the mat as me when he reached my age. And after reading your testimonial, it made me think about that discussion with the YG. Today, I say the same thing to you. I hope that when I reach your age, I'm able to be training and enjoying my teammates and students as much as you appear to be. And that's something that everyone reading this testimonial that's younger than 73 should aspire to achieve as well. And I love the fact that you talk trash to them as well...cause ain't nothing wrong with a little trash talking between teammates! And as far as not climbing up the belt chain, just keep doing what you're doing by putting in the work on the mat and you just might be surprised by what happens to people that do what they're supposed to do. Send me a picture for my website, which will be up within the next week (and that goes for every OG reading this email) and keep up the good work!
May 27 , 2008
OG Transforms From Young Punk to Pan Ams Champ!
This week's OGTOW is a special testimonial because it comes from one of my favorite teammates and mat bro, James Valentine (aka Jimmy V.). You couldn't tell from his demeanor now, but James is a reformed young punk. Off the mat, he was a fantastic dude to know and talk with about a variety of topics, but on the mat, he could be a total azz at times and didn't care that he was being one! It was a struggle trying to separate the nice guy off the mat from the YP on the mat. What brought the turnaround for James? Check out his testy and judge for yourself. Enjoy!
Hey there Paul,
I thought I'd respond! I'm not an "old" grappler yet, maybe, but I'm out of the "adult" division and into the "master's." Well, using the OG principles, I won the Pan-Am's in 2007, in my weight, belt and age bracket. Considering I started out as a Young Punk (just ask Paul!), I thought that was pretty neat. As a reformed young punk, I can safely tell you that they are not on the right path. I set myself back by YEARS because I wouldn't listen. I wouldn't listen to my coach, I wouldn't listen to my more successful teammates, and I wouldn't listen to Paul.
Paul will tell you himself that he liked me....but he didn't like
me very much on the mat.
[Note from Paul: He's right; James wasn't very likable on the mat
back then!]
All that changed after I received a major injury in 2004. It took surgery and six months - maybe a year - to fully heal. And it was the best thing that ever happened to me. You see, before, I had watched some of the top grapplers of my generation start out, and then rocket pass me. A wise or old grappler would have asked, "What can I learn from this?" But instead, I looked on with envy; it just made me mad! The excuse making began, my ability to learn destroyed itself, and I became a sad shell, compared to what I knew I was capable of.
Well, all that changed with my injury. During that time, I had a chance to reflect not just on what I was doing, but what that said about me as a person. And what it said wasn't pretty. It said I was arrogant. It said I was scared to fail, and thus, scared to succeed. I had a decision to make: I could dwell on that, and stay that way, OR, I could put it behind me and start "fresh."
Well, it took YEARS to undo what I had done, but I kept working on it and working on it - even though I moved clear across the country, I kept at it. I made a list of the things I needed to do to get better, in training, in my conditioning and in competition. Through some great guidance and some personal lessons, I learned what I needed to really get things going - It finally paid off for me.
In 2007, I WON my age, belt and weight category at the Pan-Ams. That had been a goal of mine for a long time. So, I set a new one: I'd win the adult division - the one that can be full of YPs - at the Pan-Ams.
Well, here in 2008, I entered the adult (brown belt) division. I put everything I learned about physical, mental, and technical preparation to work 16 weeks out from the tournament, and brought it all in focus on tournament day.... and won my first match in my weight division - by setting a pace that a 19 year old couldn't match. I lost my second match, but pushed my opponent to his limits, physically: I walked off the mat...he was still puking 15 minutes later.
Now, you have to understand, this is different for me - very different! When I was competing as a YP, I was cocky, but fragile. I couldn't have lasted 8 minutes, ever. And it wasn't because of conditioning - it was because I couldn't handle the stress of possibly losing. When I was dominating competition, it was fine - but the moment the tide seemed like it might turn, I crumbled.
Well, (and this is the best part) by training as a WISE (older) grappler, I know that my performance is repeatable, and NOT JUST CHANCE. I can put it all together again next year, and be one year better and wiser than I was before, and not just "one year of KYA" better, but one year of training the OG way better!
For the first time in 3 years, I'm genuinely fired up about training and competing again.
Paul, thanks for showing me the way - I owe you, Mike (Fowler), Little Mike (Easton), Ryan (Hall), Phil (Proctor), Dalla, Donnie (Achnick) and, of course, Lloyd, for the foundation that makes all of this possible! And the support of my team out here on the west coast (Ralph Gracie BJJ), my trainer, and my new instructor keeps building on that solid foundation - and I couldn't do it without them either.
The most important lesson - when you go out on that mat, you are NEVER alone.
Look out in 2009!
James Valentine James,
Bro, let me take a moment to tell you how happy and proud I am of you for being able to do a great deal of introspection to figure out that you were your biggest stumbling block. We all knew it back then (as I'm sure you remember the conversations you had with everyone from that list you mentioned above), but you weren't ready for the lesson at that time in your life. And that's cool because at least you matured to the point where you were receptive at some point to hear and listen to the message and then took action to correct it (unlike so many others in the world, even some reading this testimonial).
I remember when you had your shoulder surgery and you couldn't get on the mat to brawl with everyone. I could see how things were starting to change for you back then, but didn't witness the transformation because you moved out to California and started training with Ralph Gracie. But each time we communicated with each other (whether by email or during your visits back home), I noticed the transformation and it was obvious that you were no longer a young punk. And it showed in your technique and mat demeanor as well.
Good luck with every goal that you set out to accomplish for 2008 and beyond and know that your east coast family (Team Lloyd Irvin) is ALWAYS in your corner! ;-)
May 27 , 2008
OG Joins Gym and Meets Young Punks in KYA Mode!
This week's OGTOW is from an OG that decided to join a BJJ Club and stuck with it even when he was wheezing on the mat from being out-of-shape AND while having a couple of young punk buddies trash-talk him on the mat. Fortunately, this OG was determined not to quit and eventually made the trash-talking go away! Enjoy!
Hi Paul
You got me. I was definitely pumped by your OG insights and the 7 Survival Steps were truly encouraging.
I was 45 and 5' 8", 247lbs when I joined the rocking local BJJ club here in Oshawa Ontario Canada. The Master is a known, kick-ass, newly retired competitor. He lost his championship title to George St. Pierre in 2003.
After getting clearance through a series of Cardio tests just to make sure that I had no physical limitations, I hit the mats hard. I started my training with two twenty something year old punks who I work with. The old man's red face and wheezing was the subject of a lot of trash talk, but I was coming up slowly. I dropped 30 pounds in the first 4 months. My gas became much improved and my technique was improving with my core development.
Yes, the young guys play hard and fast and when practicing throws, you gotta take a beating. The biggest thing that happens when grappling young guys is they don't have a learning mode...only a KYA ("Kick Yer Azz!") Mode.
Often I want to see what a guy will do when I try certain things and that is when the pace changes. Mostly it's been a great experience and when you can connect with certain training partners you can really lock in the technique.
BJJ has given me confidence to truly not take a hit or even fear a hit because of the Clinch and Shoot defenses. You see, one of these punks I trained with is a Karate Black Belt. He used to toy with me in the office after hours demonstrating how quickly he can strike me when I was out of shape. Since Jits and the many matches he and I had, he has learned that his Karate training sucks against even a Blue Belt in Jits.
Paul, you should write a book targeting Middle Aged Men and how they can build self-esteem, confidence, physical and mental conditioning through the grappling art of BJJ.
Steve M
Steve,
Congrats on hanging in there with the tryout and the training in the beginning when you were out-of-shape and wheezing on the mat to the delight of your YP classmates. LOTS of guys would've just chalked it up to being "too hard" and quit. The fact that you stuck with it and "grappled yourself into shape" is noteworthy. I also need to congratulate you on losing 30 lbs in the process. I always say if you "want better cardio, lose some cargo" and that's exactly what you did! ;-)
Lots of grapplers (both young and old) can rely on the KYA Mode too much instead of relying on their other strengths (mental, strategy, technique, physical conditioning, etc.) while grappling. Some grow out of it as they advance in rank, most don't because they usually drop out of training before they reach black belt. In spite of that, OGs MUST learn to accept the bumps and bruises that come along with the training. Is it the preferred way to train, expecting a bruising? No, but it's a reality and denying that reality will make your grappling journey difficult, especially when you start looking for the "ultimate OG Friendly" place to train and discover that it doesn't exist. That doesn't mean that you should have to battle in class every day, but you need to be prepared for it when it happens to you...at some point, IT WILL HAPPEN!
Finally, the whole concept behind The Wise Grappler was to build the confidence, self-esteem, and conditioning (both physical and mental) for the OG. I strongly believe that once a grappler takes control of those areas in their lives (regardless of age), they can deal with ANYTHING that comes their way in and out of the gym! So, the book idea and a few other things are already in the works!
Thanks for the update and keep up the good work!
May 27, 2008
1st Female Black Belt Promoted Within The OG Nation!
This week's OG Testimonial of the Week is from one of my favorite grapplers and people, Sharon Bonewicz (aka Meow). Sharon is a fellow teammate and was promoted to become the FIRST FEMALE BLACK BELT at our annual Team Lloyd Irvin Training Event (March 1, 2008)along with 5 other teammates. Sharon is also the first female black belt in The OG Nation! So, after some "gentle" persuasion onmy part, Sharon sent me a testy to share with the family...enjoy!
Hey Wise Grappler!
This past Saturday (3/1/08), I was given my Black Belt by my instructor (Jared Weiner) in front of all my peers as well as all my mentors.
I was surprised and speechless, but mostly because I know I am still on my journey to success. I still do not have words to describe how I feel, but I can tell you I felt a drive and determination to become a better student, instructor and competitor.
To everyone else who will read this, It has been a fast 7 years because I swear I just took my first class not that long ago. When I first started training, I did it because I liked it. Fast forward 9 months when I suffered a bad back injury which caused sciatica.
I was out for a good 6 months, barely able to stand without pain. This is where I set my first goal. I did everything I needed to do and more to get back on the mats. I tried every type of medicine from doctors to physical therapy to acupuncture. Mentally, I knew I would overcome it and mentally I knew I would become one of the few (but quickly growing) American Female Black Belts.
Then last year, I wrote to you saying I wanted to quit about 2 years ago. I lost my mental mindset, but you helped me over that setback. So, I hope this helps someone else reach their goals as well.
I have since added a few more goals so you will probably hear from me in the future. Until then I am proud to be Team Lloyd Irvin's first female black belt and the OG Nation's first.
Thank you and the OG nation for your support! I couldn't have done it without you.
Sincerely,
Sharon Bonewicz (aka Meow)
P.S. DON'T GIVE UP AND DON'T LOSE SIGHT OF WHAT YOU WANT!
Sharon
First, congrats again on your black belt promotion! It was an honor to be there to witness you and the others (Danny Ives, Donald Achnick, Ed Clay, Brad Daddis, and "the Spiderman") being promoted to black belt. You all worked very hard to be able to see this day and I'm glad that you were successful in reaching it. I'm sure if you thought back to all the people that were training with you when you were a white belt, 90 percent of them are long gone!
I'm also proud of the fact you didn't yield to the urge to quit and fought through it like champions do. Few people know this, but Kurt Angle thought about quitting competitive wresting years before he won the gold medal at the 1996 Olympics because of injuries and not winning matches. Everyone has endured hard times and felt like quitting, but thinking about it isn't the same as actually doing it. Imagine what you and Kurt Angle would've missed out on if both of you had made the decision to quit. Fortunately, you're both tigers because you both fought through it and won your prizes...gold medal for him, black belt for you!
Good luck on your new journey as a black belt! :-)
May 27, 2008
OG Shares How To Treat Injuries With The Nation!
This week OGTOW is from an OG that wanted to offer some sports therapy expertise as a follow-up to the "Ask The Wise Grappler" Q&A Section that I answered in the last ezine issue from the OG that hurt his back lifting a heavy crate and wanted to know what he could do to train while recovering from the injury. I could've just forwarded the info directly to the OG, but felt it should be shared with The Nation as well. Enjoy!
Dear "Nation",
As a Sports Massage Therapist of seventeen years, I want to answer "What Do I Do Now?" after an injury.
WHAT TO DO: First, EVERY TIME you feel that sting, check your macho ego at the door, and put an ice pack on it IMMEDIATELY for a full twenty minutes. If it is a hand or foot, you can submerge it in ice water. You want to numb the area quickly and stay cold for twenty minutes. Using ice doesn't mean you are a wimp, it means you have a brain and are willing to use it for your own survival.
HOW TO DO IT: Ice can safely be used 20 minutes on, 20 minutes off, and repeated as needed for pain and swelling. Don't put the ice pack directly on the skin. Do not leave it on more than 20 minutes. Always wait a full 20 minutes before putting ice back on. Do not use heat on any injury until it is COMPLETELY healed. Replace the "rolling" that you can't do with watching and imagining intensely.
WHY YOU DO IT: A study on professional football players showed they get back into practice and games an average of two weeks sooner when medics put ice packs on within five minutes of injury, on the field, instead of waiting three to five hours, after they do X-rays and exams, wrapping, casting, etc. MOST of the damage is done by swelling that occurs IMMEDIATELY AFTER the "injury" event, the same is true for burns. Heat used on an injury that is more than 48 hours old as recommended by some doctors, will increase the swelling, and make the injury worse. And when you imagine techniques you already know, you train the muscles and nerves so there is less loss of strength and reflexes. The mind is POWERFUL!
This is the condensed version, anyone who wants more detail or documentation, feel free to contact me. Remember to use ice, stretch, drink lots of water and get regular massages.
Jacquelyn R. LeClerc
Licensed Massage Therapist, Olympic Sports Massage Therapist,
Massage Therapy Instructor Carrollton, TX,
Leclerc_rmt@hotmail.com
Jacquelyn,
I'd like to thank you for sharing this information with me and the Nation. There are lots of theories floating around on "how to treat an injury", but lots of those theories come from people speculating on what they think should work, not factual. There's nothing like getting expert advice, especially when so many operate under the assumption that this information is "common sense", and yours is appreciated. Anyone that supports my mission to educate The Nation to make grappling more enjoyable is always welcome to offer their expertise. Feel free to share your comments with us as you see fit in the future and keep up the good work!
May 27, 2008
OG Misrepresents Skill & Age Level, Under-promises, and Over-delivers!
This week OGTOW is from an OG that called me out for being a "pseudo-OG" by playing down my skill, age, and fitness level to The Nation after he invested in my OG Clinic DVD. Check out what he had to say and then judge for yourself if I should be thrown out of The Nation or allowed to stay!
Paul,
From the way you identify with the problems that Older Grapplers face in dealing with Young Punks, I thought for sure you had to be old, creaky, and slow. Well...at least a little.
But I just got your OG Clinic DVD set, watched the first DVD (out of two in the set), and boy did you ever misrepresent yourself - you look fit, agile, and strong! Heck, you even look too YOUNG to represent the OG Nation! I'd say you barely look like you'd qualify for Masters (30+) at a tournament, much less for any of the Senior (35+), Senior I (40+) etc divisions. How can you expect us REAL OG's to follow the fitness and skill example you set!
Plus, from the way you have downplayed yourself in the past, I didn't expect to see the level of BJJ skill you displayed in the video. I was expecting to see someone more gifted at "head coaching" than gifted on the mat, and boy was I wrong about that as well! You looked VERY impressive as you demonstrated the techniques, smooth, explosive at the same time while being very economical in your moves.
Finally, based on your cautionary email that we shouldn't expect a great video production, I was surprised by how darn good the videography is. It's obviously professional filmed, not hand-held by a seminar student.
At least one thing wasn't a big surprise to me. Based on the way you break things down in the mental game, I expected a similar level of attention to detail in the techniques presented, and I wasn't disappointed. I was also very happy to see "advanced basics" - stuff I can start adding to my game now, not flashy stuff that leaves me a little puzzled. Plus, a lot of details were new to me, even though you were teaching introductory materials - the grip fighting, the "prayer" position to set up a guard pass, how to do the toreador pass correctly (I'd never been putting my weight down and it wasn't working for me).
Well, my expectations have gone up! Next time, you won't be able to fool me by UNDER-promising and OVER-delivering. I've gotten so used to videos that promise the world and deliver very little I can actually use, that's its a pleasant surprise to buy a value priced DVD that does the opposite by giving me a lot more than I expected.
THANKS FOR DOING THIS. NEXT TIME, DON'T MAKE US WAIT SO LONG! :-)
Michael Webber @ The Berkeley Academy
Michael,
First, let me say thanks for all the kind words that you said about me and the product, especially the part about me faking it as an OG. I know I may not look or move like an OG, but I am OG4Life and proud of it! I never said I wasn't in good shape because I am. What I'm not is in competition shape and that's another different level than what I need to get through a regular training session. And truth be told, everything that I showed on the DVD doesn't require you to be in shape to do it. I look like a beast doing it because it's my system. And if you don't look impressive executing your own system, what chance does a newbie have at mastering it?
As for the speed and explosion, that comes from knowing what needs to be done without having to think about it and that's why I stress drilling so much. And as I'm sure that you noticed in the DVD that I put a lot of emphasis on creating a drill before actually teaching the movement. It may not be the preferred method of choice for many instructors, but it works for our students and that's good enough for me. And I didn't mean to misrepresent the product as a "product shot by a cell phone digital camera in a basement by candlelight" because it's not. I just wanted to let everyone know upfront that I'm working with a good production crew that's new to the grappling arena, we're both learning at the same time, and each product will get better than the previous one as we both gain more experience. I figured that would let the "production over content aficionados" know to stay away from the product and save us both some grief!
Again, I'm glad you enjoy it and hopefully, I explained enough to not get thrown out of the Nation, especially when I started it! :-)