Ask the Wise Grappler Archive
October 23, 2008
Paul,
I've been reading the emails and I can honestly say that it's helping me out.
I probably fall into the younger range of an OG (just turned 30), but this is my first crack at any martial arts and I did recognize some the mental and physical blocks that you talked about in myself.
I don't really have the "young punk" problem at my gym because from what I understand, our head instructor has never had much tolerance for bullies on his mat. So, the vibe is generally supportive at Black and Blue MMA in Kingston, NY.
I need to work on my conditioning a whole bunch as it's been a long time since my days as an Army paratrooper and boy am I feelin it!
I have some old injuries from jumping. So, I have to adjust my game as to not aggravate those injuries, which in the process is improving my grappling. Not using my physical limitations as an excuse was a big obstacle at first, but I'm overcoming it.
I know I'm not gonna be "the next Royce Gracie." If I'm anything, I'm realistic! I can only get to class 2-3 times a week, but I'm not quitter and I'm getting my mind right. So, I'm sticking with it!
Thanks for the advice.
Jesse Cunningham
The Wise Grappler writes:
Jesse,
You've got a few things working in your favor, bro! You're realistic, you know your limitations, and you're getting your mind right! Stick with my emails and training products to get your "mind right", then it'll be just a matter of time before you're one of the mat animals at Black and Blue MMA.
Also, tell your instructor he's doing a great job by keeping the mat safe from those young punks at "Black and Blue MMA" and that's a cool name for a school! ;-)
July 31, 2008
Dear Wise Grappler,
"I have read all about avoiding young punks, but don't you condone beating them at their own game? What I mean is scratching & pinching & fighting just as dirty as they do. Another thing you mentioned was grinding the forearm across the face is a dirty move, but similar tactics were taught as techniques at a school I went to. What do you think of nerve holds & pressure points? A lot of people make excuses that you were digging your fingernails in if you try these moves."
The Wise Grappler writes:
This is an interesting question that has come up more than once as to where I stand on this topic. So, I figured here's a good time to deal with this now and render clarity on my position.
I'm an advocate of being able to adjust to the situation as it occurs. My position is that OGs should be the ones that display more control on the mat when training with mat bullies that tend to think everything is fair game. At the same time, I realize that you can only be kneed in the crotch so many times before you get tired of that chit and fight fire with fire! So, my position would be to NOT fire the first shot in anger, but be prepared to fire them when necessary to ensure that you're not run off the mat and tagged a wimp. However, you need to be aware of the potential consequences when you decide to "beat them at their own game." If you're willing to give a series of elbows after you've received them, things could get out of hand quickly and create a training environment that's not very fun for anyone. Never presume because you scratch someone after they scratch you that it's over. That may be just the beginning and you need to ask yourself if you're prepared for what may be an endless session of beating the crap out of each other every time you train.
Yes, I do think that grinding the forearm across the face is a dirty move and I don't appreciate it when it's done to me. At the same time, if it happens twice (I'll give you a pass the first time), I know how to play that game as well. As for how it's taught in a school, every instructor's within their right to teach what they think works (including nerve holds and pressure points) and I think it's necessary to show some dirty tricks from time-to-time, even if it's only to show your students some crap moves that someone may try to pull on them to make them aware. Again, the problem becomes controlling when they are used and what happens if someone doesn't like having it done on them.
The comment about "people make excuses that you were digging your fingernails in if you try these moves"confused me for a minute. Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't you have to dig your fingernails into someone to pull off a pressure point or nerve hold technique? If that's part of the teacher's curriculum and everyone knows what's legal on the mat (and what's not), that's fine. But if you're the ONLY guy in the school that knows or does these things (without your instructor's consent), then those techniques should be avoided. And even if it is part of the curriculum, everyone doesn't want to be subjected to those tactics because the stuff hurts... me included! Again, I won't do it to you first, but once you start us down that path... brotha, I hope you can take it as well as you dish it out!
Bottom line: if you're going to do those things and you're initiating them, make sure that your partner's ok with them so that he has as much a chance as pulling them on you as you on him. And if you can't control and submit an opponent without using a technique that's suspect, that tells me that you need to spend more time working on your technique and less time working dirty tactics into your gameplan.
July 15, 2008
Dear Wise Grappler,
"I grapple with a few guys who are much more experienced than I am and it's difficult to hang in there! Today, I was lame on the mat, gave up my back and got "tapped out" several times! How frustrating! But I am a strong man, 5' 10' 230lbs and have found that no-gi grappling is far better for me, as my grip and strength is much harder for these young guys to contend with. But those "doubts" creep in on GI day, because I suck at gi-grappling! What should I do?"
The Wise Grappler writes:
First, I think you're suffering from what I call "over 220 lbs Syndrome" (O2S) ; a mental roadblock that seems to afflict most heavyweight grapplers that prefer to use their strength to bully guys on the mat instead of developing the technique necessary to deal with smaller and more experienced opponents. The primary driver behind O2S is your need to be the top dog on the mat based on your size instead of your ability. Your ego is too engaged in beating your training partners instead of improving as a grappler and until you take a step back from that type of thinking (and worry less about being the best guy on the mat), you'll always be frustrated, lack self-confidence when you're wearing the gi, and be faced with the fact that you enjoy being the hammer a lot more than being the nail! If you don't have the OG Mental Mindset System (which I'm certain you don't by the tone of your email), invest in one ASAP (www.thewisegrappler.com/OGMentalMindset.htm )!
Let's dig into this area a little more before I move onto the next point. Although your training partners are smaller than you, that doesn't mean that you should be beating them while training. And the fact that they're not able to handle you as effectively without the gi has more to do with the intangibles (e.g. sweaty bodies, poor grips, faster pace, etc.) than your grappling skills and isn't an achievement that you should consider a good thing.
You need to ask yourself what you're trying to accomplish when you train; is it to become a better grappler or a better no-gi grappler. If the goal is to become a better no-gi grappler, then you're almost there because they're having a hard time dealing with you now. All you have to do is get stronger and eventually, it'll be impossible for them to deal with you at all, right? Wrong! It's wrong because there's going to come a time when you're going to run into someone that's a lot stronger than you. And if you've only focused on being the stronger guy, your "doubts" will re-surface the day you get beaten on the mat by a bigger O2S grappler.
Your goal should be to become a good grappler; not a good gi or no-gi grappler, but a good grappler! And to become a good, well-rounded grappler, you need to learn how to be a good and confident gi grappler. There are too many guys (specifically ex-wrestlers) that reluctantly come out of their comfort zone to train with the gi for the same reasons you're having now. And truth be told, the ONLY thing keeping you from being good at gi grappling is your training mindset and ego.
So, swallow your pride, stop giving in to your mat wimp urges that force you to doubt yourself with the gi on (or tempt you to avoid gi training), go take the same mat beatings with the gi on that you're so willing to give when it's no-gi training, and develop the proper technique and mental toughness that will help you during training sessions when you can't use strength to bully your way out of a situation. I don't care how strong you are, if you train long enough, your strength will fade and the only thing you'll have to rely on to keep someone from kicking your butt will be technique! The question you need to answer is will you have any technique to use when that time comes?
June 23, 2008
Dear Wise Grappler:
"I have been training in BJJ for 8 months now. My next promotion is a blue belt. I am nervous about getting the blue belt, before my tournaments I get nervous and throw up. I am not ready for a blue belt. Is there something that I can do to overcome this nervousness?"
The Wise Grappler writes:
You've got a LOT going on, OG! Fortunately, it's not that complex and I can point you in the right direction so you can find some resolution to these issues.
The first thing I would tell you to do is to relax and give yourself a break. You been training for 8 months and shouldn't be dealing with what I call "rank overload" at this stage in your grappling journey. If you believe in your instructors and respect their opinions, then you must be putting in the work necessary to be considered for a blue belt at 8 months. That should be a good thing for you. I'm certain that other white belts that have been training longer than you will fall prey to "rank envy" because you've been promoted ahead of them, but that's their problem, not yours! Your job is to go to class, listen, learn, and perform up to the expectation level of your instructors. If they think you're ready, you're ready! And if your "rank envy" classmates give you grief, keep training hard and to hell with them!
As for getting nervous at tourneys, that feeling you're experiencing is pre-match anxiety and everyone (including all your opponents at the tourneys) goes through it on some level. Those feelings can be brought on by a number of things, but generally arise when a competitor is either prepared or unprepared for a competition.
When you're prepared, it's your body's way of telling you that it's ready for the challenge ahead and you should welcome that nervous energy in your gut that makes you feel sick. Fighting or ignoring it will only make you feel worse and once the action starts, the feeling is gone anyway. And when you're not prepared, that your body's way of telling you you're in deep chit because your lack of preparation is about to be exposed for all to see. And the way you're panicking over getting a blue belt at the 8 month mark, you're probably a nervous wreck the day of the tourney!
There are relaxation routines (e.g. listening to music, motivational speeches, breathing exercises, creating a competition routine, etc.) and products that you can find on the Internet that can help you stay focused and deal with pre-match anxiety. Personally, I don't think the goal should be to remove all pre-match anxiety, but to learn its symptoms and how to manage it. I know of many athletes (amateur and professional) that still get nauseous and vomit) before competing and they've learn to accept it as a sign that they're ready. In fact, they would be concerned if they DIDN'T throw up because it would be outside the norm for them. I know when I was competing, I didn't throw up, but I would have to go to the bathroom AT LEAST 3-4 times before EVERY tournament! Once I discovered the behavioral pattern, I realized this was normal for me and learned to accept it. And after I went to the bathroom at the facility where they were having the tournament, I was ready to go!
Again, if you've done everything that you can to prepare for the tourney, you're in good cardio shape, believe in your ability, have solid coaching in your corner, and recognize the anxiety symptoms as normal, you should be ok and ready to perform. Remember, you're supposed to be having fun at the tournament, not going to the dentist to have 20 cavities drilled and filled without anesthesia! ;-)
May 27, 2008
Dear Wise Grappler,
We talk just briefly last week and I just want to say how much I enjoyed your DVDs for (OG) and found the takedown of the seminar and the grips to be real informative. My question to you is I am thinking about entering my first tournament this June. Could you give an me outline how many times per week I should be training right now? I am training 2/3 times per week in Jiu-Jitsu and two days I hit the kettle bells for 30 min for my conditioning. I know that you mention on your DVD that if you only had 1 hour that forty-five minute should be set a side for drilling 15 minutes for sparring. Any information or training drills would be very helpful.
The Wise Grappler writes:
First, I need to say congrats on having the courage to step out there to compete. It will give you a good experience and reveal immediate holes in your grappling game that get easily overlooked at your gym at home.
I need to clear something up before we continue with your question about my comment concerning drilling. The recommendation that I made on my DVD about how to split drilling and training time is correct, but that approach will only help you with the technical aspect for competing, not the conditioning part. That kind of workout will get your technique to flow better, but it won't get you into shape. So, you need to make sure that you have an intense cardio routine that will simulate the explosive movements that'll occur during a match.
Now that you've decided to compete, you need to ask yourself EXACTLY what you expect from the experience. Are you going out to compete to just enjoy the experience and to make new friends or are you going out with the intent to be competitive and win your division? It may sound like a stupid question, but how you answer it will determine how I'll recommend that you train for the tourney.
If your intent is to go out and enjoy the experience, then I would say what you're doing is fine and enjoy the experience and people that you meet. But if your intent is to have an outstanding performance and possibly win the event, then I'll recommend that you adjust your training so that it'll give you the best result for the event.
You mentioned that you're doing kettle bells for 30 mins, but I'm not sure if that's what you need for a grappling match. The fact that you can do it for 30 mins suggest that you probably have more rest periods in between your burst periods with the kettle bells and that won't help you during the match. You need a cardio routine that will force you to have continuous movement for whatever the time limit of your matches will be. So, if you're in a 5 mins match, you need to be exploding for 80-90 percent of that time with small rest intervals. I suggest that you talk with your kettle bell coach and get a routine that gives you a continuous workout (probably with a lighter kettle bell) for the same time as your match and notice the difference in how you feel than the 30 min workout.
As for the BJJ part, a 2-3 day workout to win a tourney isn't going to cut it unless you're a phenom or you get a lucky draw for that tourney. Ask anyone that you know that's competed (and won) at your school to see how many days a week they train and that will give you an idea of what you need to do. You also should ask your instructor for his input, especially if he's an instructor with a strong competition background. My opinion is that you shouldn't be training less than 4-5 days and I'm leaning more towards the 5 days since the tourney is in June.
With that kind of training routine (5 days a week), you should expect to be sore and tired leading up to the tourney, but that's how you know that you've put in the time on the mat. Anyone going into a tourney that isn't a little tired or banged up didn't really train like they were supposed to and it will show during the match!
Ignore any grappler that tells you "it doesn't take all that to win a tourney" because they're probably a phenom or never been around winners or know how to win.
Finally, don't worry about winning or losing because that's something that really beyond your control. Just be prepared for the event, give your best performance, and let the outcome take care of itself. Good luck and let me know how you perform at the event.
May 27, 2008
Dear Wise Grappler,
"I'm 33 years old and have been doing BJJ for just short of 1 year. Actually, January '08 will be 1 year for me. Although some might argue that I'm not really an "OG", I feel like one compared to all of the young guys I train with. But like Ronald Seldon (mentioned in previous OG Testimonial of the Week), I'm in great shape, strong, and have had good success so far.
I'm currently a 3-stripe white belt who dominates virtually all of the other whites and occasionally submits some of the other blues and purples. Recently however, something has changed. For the past few weeks I've been having some difficulty on the mat. I have to work a lot harder and it seems as if I'm actually regressing now. I feel really discouraged. I'm not sure what the problem is. I think I might be a little burned out and it's really showing on the mat. My instructors think I'm better than I really am and I feel like every day at training I disappoint them more and more. I went from an exceptional white belt, who was going to get his blue belt in January, to an be average white. I don't even want a blue belt now because I sincerely believe I'm not ready at this time. My instructor would probably disagree, as they still think I'm really good. The truth is, I don't think they've noticed my decline as I have.
Why is this happening? I've read and heard that one's "game" continues to evolve and change until they're a seasoned purple belt. From there, they just continue to refine and perfect they're game. Is this true? And can I expect more highs and lows in the future? PLEASE HELP!"
The Wise Grappler writes:
Well, I understand your "problem" and while I hear what you're saying and sense your frustration, I don't think you're position is as bad as it may appear to you. in fact, I think you're in a pretty good state to move forward with your grappling progress.
The fact that you're a white belt that's been training for about a year and you're able to "dominate" all the white belts and some blue/purple belts at your gym tells me that you have a lot more athleticism going for you than most, which is not a bad thing. Where it becomes a problem, as in your case, is when your technique doesn't grow to match your athleticism and your classmates start to figure you out on the mat. Any time that I hear about a guy that starts off hot and then cools off, I immediately wonder if the guy's burned himself out or if his athleticism enabled him to forsake technique until the people that he was beating up on learned how to counter his athleticism. And that's what you've got on your hands now and if you continue doing what you're doing, it will only get worse.
So, I could say that you need to develop your technique more and stop relying so much on your athleticism, but that's only part of the problem. What I also hear from you is the fact that you don't like being the nail as much as you like being the hammer. Isn't training more fun when you're kicking everybody azz? I know I enjoy it better when I'm doing the hammering...but it doesn't always work that way and that's the next lesson that you need to learn now. And now that the "word is out" on your mat tactics, your classmates have figured out how to shut you down. Now your mental mindset has turned to chit, you think you're disappointing your instructors, and you're running away from a belt promotion.
You need to be completely honest with yourself right now. If it's burnout, take a couple weeks off and you should be back to your old self. But if you just hate taking an azz-kicking instead of giving one, you need to accept it as part of the highs and lows of grappling (that EVERY grappler endures during their entire grappling experience) and get rid of the ego challenge of who you think you ought to be on the mat.
So, what do you need to do to fix this issue? First, learn to take the same azz-kicking that you've been giving out over the past year. Embrace the fact that your teammates are improving and posing you the challenge that you need to excel. Next, sit down and talk with your instructors to figure out what they see you doing on the mat as they watch your performance and what you need to do to correct your technique. After they tells you what to do, DO IT! And ditch the thoughts that you're disappointing them on the mat! You're there to become a better grappler, period! And as you talk with your instructors, you'll probably discover that they're not thinking about you like that anyway. Finally, let your instructors be the judge of what rank you should be and when you're ready for it. You focus on improving your technique and let your instructors evaluate talent and award belts as they see fit.
May 27, 2008
Hey Paul,
I've been reading your emails for a while now and always feel that any reply would be mute effort because of the volume of replies you must receive on a daily basis. Well today, I just got back from training with my first instructor and whenever I train with him, I feel like there's nothing I can do so why even bother. He's a great instructor, but he is always tough on me. Maybe it's because he sees something in me or he just wants me to work harder. When I train with other partners, I don't feel intimidated and can usually hold my own. It's just something about this guy that I can't shake to give myself the confidence to go toe-to-toe with him, any suggestions?"
The Wise Grappler writes:
You're right; I do get a lot of emails each day, but you wrote anyway and see what happened! ;-)
Do I have any suggestions? Yeah, I have a few, in fact, too many! Wow...this is an interesting question and one that seems rather odd to read because of the way that I perceive the relationship between you and your instructor. If I'm wrong, feel free to reply to it and we'll extend this discussion to ensure that I accurately addressed your issue with my response.
The one thing that jumps out at me is the feeling that you seem to be in a competition against your instructor and I'm not really sure why. Based on what you wrote, you seem to have some level of expectation as to how your training is supposed to go with him and I don't know if those expectations are realistic. When you made the statement:
"Whenever I train with him, I feel like there's nothing I can do so why even bother"
What are you expecting to happen? Are you expecting to be as equally skilled or even better than him whenever you train? Does he not "allow you into the game" because you're more focused on beating him than becoming a better grappler? Have you discussed this issue with him and gotten his perspective on your performance?
Your next statement:
"He's a great instructor but he is always tough on me. Maybe it's because he sees something in me or he just wants me to work harder."
If he's a great instructor, why would he want you to work harder unless you both know that you're not? You didn't mention him picking on you or being abusive, so that leads me to believe that he sees something in you and has to make you bring it out by forcing you to work harder. That's common of any good instructor and it sounds like you have one...so what's the problem? Don't you want someone to push you out of your comfort zone...or do you want to be just average at best?
This last statement is the one that really got me: "When I train with other partners, I don't feel intimidated and can usually hold my own. It's just something about this guy that I can't shake to give myself the confidence to go toe-to-toe with him."
Are we talking about you training with your instructor ("this guy") or you getting ready for a super fight at a tournament? I don't understand at all the idea of going "toe-to-toe" with your instructor! Lloyd's been kicking my azz for almost 12 years now and NEVER did I ever see our training as going "toe-to-toe" with him! Why am I going "toe-to-toe" with the person that I've put my trust in to build me into a solid BJJ Black Belt? Are you there to learn from him or to show him how good of a grappler you are and eventually kick his azz? And if you're there to go "toe-to-toe" with him instead of learning from him, do you think that's why he's shutting you down on the mat when you roll?
OG, this entire question reeks of ego and what I consider a very unhealthy attitude for a student to have with his instructor. You wanted my opinion, you got it! You need to check your attitude and the first step is to sit and talk to your instructor about it to get his perspective on your training performance. You'd probably be surprised by some of the things that he'd tell you, both good and bad. Next, you need to ditch the "I should be able to go toe-to-toe with him" and stop viewing him as your opponent. He's there to help you...but it's hard to give your student 100 percent when you know that he views you more as competition than a mentor. Keep in touch and let me know how this situation progresses over the next few months.
May 27, 2008
Dear Wise Grappler,
"In competitions, I have a tendency to choke. It's not all the time, but it occurs often enough that I'm concerned about it. When I'm battling for the takedown or the throw, I'm fine, when we hit the mat is when I have problems. I can usually secure a dominant position, or guard at the very least, but for some reason once I'm there my mind shuts down and I go blank and forget my moves. And I don't have to tell you what happens next. Anyway it's been a source of grief because it's something I've never dealt with before. I was an athlete in high school; I ran cross-country and never got nervous before a competition. I also boxed as a teenager, again, never nervous before a match. So I don't really understand where it comes from. Could it have something to do with the 5 year break I took from martial arts a while back? Or is it something else? I'd appreciate any insight you may be able to offer. "
The Wise Grappler writes:
I don't think your performance in the past has anything to do with the 5 yr layoff that you took from grappling, but from something else. And since you've been competing at different sports over a period of years, it's not the competition environment that's causing you to lose focus. That leads me to believe that your problem is the way you prepare for grappling competitions (which are both similar and different from the sports that you've done in the past). And since you didn't mention anything about how you prepared or a competition gameplan, I'm going to start there and suggest that's where the problem may exist.
You said that you've participated in other sports and never had those kinds of performance issues in the past. When you were participating with those others sports, how differently were you prepared for those events than you're preparing yourself for grappling tournaments? Do you have coaches preparing you for tournaments like you had coaching preparing you for track and boxing...or do you just have an instructor that's teaching regular classes with no emphasis on competition preparation? Does your competition preparation account for best and worst case scenarios that can (and will) occur during a competition? I'm willing to bet that you probably don't and you're make the mistake that so many grapplers do that compete in tourneys that have no type of competition gameplan other than "going out on the mat and seeing what happens." That is a strategy and you can do it, but it doesn't guarantee consistent performance behavior and it's my guess that's what you're experiencing.
To correct this issue, I would suggest that you start training using the "Submission Thread" Concept that I teach in my classes and instructional DVDs. The point behind the submission thread is to drill a series of techniques together from a start-to-end point, generally with the starting point being a takedown and the end point being a submission (which I call the "finish line"). The finish line can change based on whatever position and submission you want to develop, but the concepts still re-enforces a start to finish mindset that trains you to react without thinking because your body knows where it's supposed to be and what it supposed to be doing when it gets to a position without having to think about it. For example, if I gave you a single leg to side control paintbrush thread, you would know that you have to drill the takedown setup, passing the legs for side control, and then setting up the paintbrush once you're in side control. The more you can automate your reactions without having to think about what to do, the more success you'll have in competitions. And the only way to automate those reactions is by doing drilling conducive to the competition environment where you're dealing with noise, adrenalin, strangers walking around looking tough in their fancy team gear while trying to intimidate you, and the general anxiety that seems to wear on the average competitor's mental mindset.
So, try the submission thread concept and let me know how it works out for you. I think you'll notice that your "choking" problem will be a thing of the past.
May 27, 2008
Dear Wise Grappler:
"I'm really upset at myself for making such a stupid mistake. I was so busy moving that I forgot safety. While I was loading my van with a 7 gallon crate loaded to the hilt, I felt a sting in my back. Immediately, I let the crate go, but I knew the damage was done. Now, I've got to sit out of training for awhile and I'm not happy. What should I do???!??!!!"
The Wise Grappler writes:
Well, the first thing you can do is stop beating yourself up for making that error in judgment. At some time, we've all lifted something heavy the wrong way and have gotten away with it. That's why we continue to do it. Unfortunately, you didn't get away with it this time and have to accept it. In the meantime, this will give you an opportunity to sharpen other areas in your grappling game that probably don't get as much attention when you can go over to the academy and jump on the mat.
When you say "you can't train", what exactly does that mean? Are you saying that you can't spar, drill, or what? I want you to be careful that you're not equating your ability to train with only being able to spar. With that being said, I'll take the first approach that you have to stay off the mats completely and can't even drill.
The first thing that you should do is perform some "grappling introspection" as it relates to your performance over the past year. You need to think about the following things:
- what techniques worked for you
- what techniques and strategies didn't work
- what weaknesses were fixed and did they create any new problems
- have you defined your "mat picture" for your submissions from each position
- what strengths can be built upon or extended
- what problems do your best training partners present you on the mat and how can you counter those techniques
The next thing you should do is study "film" like they do in major sports. The mistake that many grapplers make when looking at instructional and competition DVDs is giving in to the temptation to want to learn a technique that'll make the crowd go "oooooooh" instead of looking at techniques that fit an immediate need in their game. Use those learning aids to strengthen your weak areas only and fight the urge to add an unrelated move just because Grappler X does it.
If you can do drilling (but not sparring), then take this time to become a drilling fanatic by working positions that won't aggravate your back. If you have a grappling dummy at your disposal, you can work top positions and pay attention to posture, weight distribution, and constant head-hip control. If you have my OG Clinic DVD, you'll get an introduction to how I use drills to teach muscle memory as well as what I call "OG Shadow Grappling." The "OG Shadow Grappling" concept can be very helpful for anyone unable to train at the gym based on injury or schedule. And if you haven't seen the OG Clinic, I'll be releasing my "Beginner OG Shadow Grappling DVD" within the next month and that should help your progress while recuperating from your injury.
The main thing I want you to remember is that training doesn't start and end with a sparring session at the academy. Go to the academy as often as possible to watch the class, even if you can't participate in them. Use this time to develop your mat vision and muscle memory so that when you do return to the mat, you won't feel so bummed out about all the training time you've missed. And if you can drill, drill safely so that your time away from the mat will be brief.
May 27, 2008
Dear Wise Grappler:
"I just started my grappling training a few months ago. Can you give me and idea of some of the training highs and lows I should expect along the way?"
The Wise Grappler writes:
Sure, I can share with you some of the training "highs and lows" that I've experienced personally and some that I've heard discussed over the years. This list isn't complete, but I have a finite amount of space to use and I'm certain that others have some "highs and lows" of their own to share. And as you read through this list and discuss them with your training partners, you might find that a lot of these experiences are common at many schools - some experiences good, some bad.
Some BJJ Training Highs are:
- Finding a great place to train
- Forming bonds with your teammates in training and competition
- Taking your first grappling class
- Making the decision to compete for the first time
- Winning your first tournament match
- Losing your first tournament match but you have a good coach that helps you be more determined to keep trying until you succeed
- Getting your first submission while training
- Recovering from an injury and anxiously getting back on the mat after a long layoff
- Getting your first really nice gi
- The first time you submit your favorite training partner that's been kicking your butt for months
- Telling your instructor and teammates why you have no interest in competing and not giving a chit about what they think of your decision
- Occasional bumps and bruises that come with good training
- Getting the first stripe on your white belt
- Getting your belt promotions (blue belt - first promotion; purple belt - you're considered a serious student and 1/2 way to black belt brown belt - you're one step away from being a black belt and getting a little nervous; black belt - you're in shock because what you didn't think possible has happened and now the real learning can begin)
- Watching your child take their first grappling class
Some BJJ Training Lows are:
- Having to leave a good school because of a job or family reasons
- Having the bond broken among your grappling buddies and instructor over money, ego, sex, and chit-talking behind someone's back
- Having an instructor or classmate call you out in front of the team for not competing
- Losing your first tournament match and not having a good coach to help you through it, resulting in you quitting before you give yourself a chance to succeed
- Getting injured while training and letting others convince you that "you're crazy" for risking your health and family's security to "roll around on the ground with a bunch of grown men and women!"
- Getting your butt kicked by tough teammates, month-after-month, and making excuses for not training with them
- Hand-picking partners so that you always win the training matches
- Faking an injury or an emergency for having to duck out of training early
- Worrying about what your instructor and teammates say about you when you decide to not compete
- Thinking you know when you should get promoted and talking about it with other beginners on grappling forums
- Getting injured constantly because you refuse to tap when caught in a submission hold
- Complaining that a teammate "keeps doing the same technique" to finish you when you can't stop them from doing it
- When instructors have favorite students and they're shown "hidden techniques" that the regular classes aren't shown
- Training with reckless, thoughtless, and overly aggressive punks (young and old) that shamelessly beat up on 60 yrs old recreational and undersized women grapplers, but avoid rolling with tough training partners and never compete
- Losing a competition in the novice division against grapplers with 5+ yrs of judo and wrestling experience, but they jumped in that division because they've "only been training BJJ" for 3 mos" and qualified to be in that division
Since I'm certain I've omitted something, I'm going to put this list up on my website and welcome any OGs to send me any highs and lows they've experienced since training. I look forward to seeing your list.